Joy isn’t incidental to Judaism. It’s foundational. As the author of the Tanya says:
“First and foremost, a person should rejoice and be glad at all times, and truly live with faith that God gives him life and is good to him at every moment.”
What does the rabbi say should come first? Joy. Before anything else.
Joy is a tremendous mitzvah (commandment), and it’s attractive too. Who doesn’t love being around joyful people? We also know that the Divine Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh) doesn’t like sad people: the Shechinah, the Divine Presence, loves joy. When you’re sad, the Shechinah runs away from you. Look at young children. They’re joyful, and they look like angels because the Shechinah hasn’t left them. They haven’t lost their innocence.
Let yourself be innocent sometimes. Meet life with that same innocence, and don’t be afraid to love, because love is the answer to everything. That’s true in every relationship, including with your children. Whatever is happening with your child, however difficult things may be, answer with love. If you already love them, love them more. Love them unconditionally. It solves every problem. The same goes for your partner.
That’s the best relationship advice I can give you: love generously, and don’t be afraid to be yourself, truly yourself. There’s no faster or better way to discover who is right for you and who isn’t.
You didn’t come here to please other people. If that’s how you try to live, you can be sure you’ll fail. You’re here to express yourself, to find what is unique about you and bring it into the light. Not everyone will welcome what you bring, and you don’t have to please them. Some people may even resist it. So what? Don’t trade your values and dreams for their approval. People-pleasing is an illusion, a game of make-believe, and in the end it will break your heart.
Authenticity is what draws the right people into your life. People-pleasing won’t.
Register for the workshop The Alchemy of Consciousness: Creating Reality for the New Year, Tuesday, September 24, 21 Elul 5784, 7:00 p.m. | Tel Aviv (in Hebrew)
Book a consultation and guidance session (in Hebrew): https://jewish-motivation.gilimanwolner.co.il//
Gili Man Wolner, Emotional Healer. Helping you heal and grow through Jewish wisdom. Jewish Motivation · Gili on Facebook · Gili on Instagram Gili on TikTok · Gili on YouTube
