Do you know how you can tell that light is coming into your life?
The darkness.
Do you know how you can tell that you are going to succeed and find joy?
The hardship.
Sometimes life hits us hard.
Not just a blow. A crash.
Even that is for our good
if we surrender.
Surrender to the belief that everything that comes, good or bad,
comes from the Creator.
(Call God whatever you choose. I call Him the Creator.)
And He is always working for my good. Always.
A person who knows that everything happens for their good
does not become sad.
Behind every door that closes,
there is another door.
Just as no home has only one door,
no one has only one way forward.
It goes against logic, but it is a law of Creation:
it is darkest before dawn.
Remember this:
your hardship will bring you the greatest light.
There is no room for despair in life.
Hardship is the seed of salvation,
if only we believe.
Anyone who carries faith (emunah) in their heart, trusting that the Creator is always working for their good, knows that if they have not succeeded in a big way, it is because they were thinking too small.
A Jew’s power is in the words they speak.
Ask with grace, and remember: God is not a McDonald’s,
waiting to take your order.
With the Creator, being meets being.
What you believe, especially what you believe subconsciously,
is what will come to be.
I’ll leave you with a question for Shabbat:
How would you feel if all your dreams came true?
Be good. It is our only chance. ♥️
#newbeginnings #changes #personalgrowth #podcast #thetruthhurts
Episode summary: New Beginnings, Episode 63 (in Hebrew)
In this episode, Gili and Tal explore three choices we make almost unconsciously: whether we focus on what we have or what is missing, what we can or cannot control, and the past, present or future. From there, they turn to imagination, faith and the courage to keep moving even when motivation is gone. Gili draws on everyday examples, the Exodus, the Zohar and Rebbe Nachman of Breslov to explain her belief that hardship can open the way to greater light. The episode itself marks a new beginning when Tal reflects on her personal growth, announces that she is leaving after 63 episodes, and thanks Gili and the listeners for their year and a half together.
Episode transcript: New Beginnings, Episode 63
Good morning, Gili. How are you?
Hey, Taltal.
I’m good. Really good.
This is an emotional day.
It certainly is.
Why? Is a lot going on?
A lot is happening. We’ll tell you about it later.
Oh, you’re teasing us.
Always.
You really know how to market this.
It helps to know how.
Then I’ll tease something too. I’ll follow the sages’ advice and hint at it before I get to the question I want to ask.
Here is the teaser: the question I want to begin with is also the question I will leave you with at the end.
Whatever your answer, write down this question now: how would you feel if all your dreams came true?
Everyone, write down that question. It sounds like a closing question, but it is not.
The way today’s episode ends will be far more dramatic than you expect, so stay with us. This is a real question that people rarely take the time to explore deeply. Write it down and spend some time with it afterward.
I’ll explain in a moment why I’m asking it, but the question is exactly this: how would you feel if all your dreams came true?
Start by going there in your imagination. Put yourself in that moment.
Now I’ll explain why.
Go ahead.
At almost every moment, we make three decisions without realizing it. First, what are you focused on: what is missing or what you have?
Second, are you focused on what is within your control or what is beyond it?
Third, are your thoughts and attention directed toward the past, the present or the future?
Think about what happens if I focus on what I lack when it is also outside my control and has already happened. That is a slippery slope toward despair. Everything feels hopeless. I begin to feel as though my life is under threat. That is where fear is born and anxiety begins.
But if I focus on the good, what I can control and the here and now, nothing outside me may change, but I will be calmer. Once I am calm, I can see more clearly how things really work.
So here is the news, beautiful souls: no one changes until they change their energy. When you change your energy, you change your life.
Do not expect a person or situation in your life to change as long as your surroundings still control your thoughts and emotions.
Here is the clearest example I can give. You ask a friend, “How are you?” She sounds angry or sad, so you ask why. She tells you that someone upset her, or that the neighbor made her angry.
What is she really saying? That someone else is controlling her emotions and her life. And what does that make her in that moment?
A victim. Did any of us come into this world to be a victim?
None of us. The moment you reverse that dynamic and let your thoughts and emotions shape your surroundings, you begin to see results. That is how you move from being a victim to becoming a creator of your own reality. You become a kind of creator in miniature, and like anything else, the more you practice, the better you become.
So first, notice what you are focused on. Second, ask how much power you are giving your surroundings.
To begin, use your imagination. It really can feel like a child’s game.
We all know this, right?
Of course. Imagination is where creation begins. When you imagine something you want, you begin to believe it is real. Any dream can become reality if you have enough courage to believe it is real. The more control you have over your imagination, the more control you have over your life.
Every idea, possibility or situation that you picture in your mind is an experience you are already having.
You are already experiencing it, right?
If we hold firmly to a clear picture of who we want to be, that is what will become real. And listen to this: what stands between you and your dreams is what we call “the facts.” But those facts are also products of imagination.
If you refuse to accept facts or universal truths, you are free to create your own reality, rather than accepting everyone else’s reality and surroundings.
To become the person you want to be, you have to believe in the person you are becoming. I have to believe that I already am what I dream of becoming. That is a human being’s greatest act of creation.
And look at the time we are living through now.
There is so much we could say about it.
There was my Polish side just then, packing a hundred sentences into one neat line.
I suggest that all of us, you and me included, bless every experience that comes into our lives. We do not know what may be behind it or which experience might change our lives for the better.
When we turn down a new experience because we are afraid of disappointment, we reduce our chance of finding great happiness to zero.
Because we do not believe it can happen.
Exactly.
Do not hold yourself back. Avoidance comes from fear, and fear is always a lie. Always. We have to try new things and let what happens in life teach us how to develop and grow. If I avoid every new experience because I fear failure, I am also closing the very door that might bring me an opportunity to grow. Do not be afraid, and remember that nothing is permanent. Nothing.
There will also be times when you must act without motivation. Sometimes you have to learn and act even when you have no motivation and no clear goal. People think they need motivation and clarity before they can move, grow or learn. That is not true.
We have to learn to move even when we have no energy and do not feel like it.
Even when our motivation is sprawled on the carpet.
Otherwise, how will we move at all?
Right?
Some people still have energy or motivation, but fear and all the “what ifs” stop them. I am going one step further: even when you have no motivation, do not wait for it to arrive.
Do not wait until the goal is perfectly clear. Move.
Move anyway, because we have to keep learning and moving, even when the goal is not fully clear. I am repeating this because standing still is failure. Stagnation invites trouble and illness, and not only in the obvious sense.
Most of us have heard that the body is about 70 percent water. Think about stagnant water.
What happens to water that stands still?
All the muck rises to the surface. But moving water, flowing water, is beautiful.
That image works. It is beautiful.
Now someone will ask, “Wait. Where am I supposed to find the strength? Where do I find the energy to keep going? How on earth do you build a positive mindset?”
I want to share a secret with you.
Go on.
The secret is surrender. That is it. Surrender to whatever comes, whether it is good or bad, with the clear knowledge that everything comes from the Creator and is always for my good.
Knowing that, or even believing it, is one thing. Living that way takes tremendous courage. But once you do it and understand that this is the easier way to live, you suddenly discover how much you overthink and worry. You discover how often you ruin things for yourself by thinking them to death.
When you live with the knowledge and acceptance that everything comes from the Creator, your life begins to change.
We do not know what is waiting behind a hardship. We have no idea what lies behind the trial we are facing, and most of us stumble when difficulty arrives. As soon as things become hard, many of us get no further than complaining and crying.
So what if you fell?
Do not lose heart.
The only thing that should worry you is whether you failed the test. Which test? The test of faith. But do not worry: the Creator is merciful and gracious. He will give you another trial, another opportunity to improve.
You failed? Do not worry, my friend. Another lesson is coming.
If you hold on and understand the purpose of the trial, you may be able to come through it.
What are we trying to teach here? We want to help you become someone who knows, from the first moment something bad happens, that it is happening for your good. When disaster strikes, that person can say, “No. Something is happening here for my good.”
That is where you change the story of your life.
When a door closes, do not let it make you sad. In most cases, another door is waiting behind it.
Look at any house.
And if there is no door, there is a window.
Exactly. But let us stick with doors. Look at any house or office.
I used to go into many offices.
I know.
I used to say this often when I was a civil servant and ran into one obstacle after another. I had a speech ready. At every meeting, I would say, “No problem. Close the door and I’ll come through the window. Close the window and I’ll climb through the drainpipe. Close the drainpipe and I’ll squeeze through that tiny gap beneath the door. I’ll get in. Just watch me.”
That is exactly what we have to understand. Every house, apartment and office has more than one door.
Of course.
They are called rooms.
Exactly. There is always another room, and another one after that. Do not lose heart. No one has only one door in life. If one closes, know with certainty that another will open, perhaps an even better one. That is the faith you need to carry, and it is the faith that will open doors and windows.
Do you know how you can tell that light is coming into your life?
The hardship?
Do you know how you can tell that you are going to succeed and find joy? The darkness. It defies all logic.
But it is a law of Creation.
Then maybe I am just one moment away from a breakthrough.
Exactly. A great light follows every period of darkness. It is always darkest before dawn.
Your hardship will bring you the greatest light. There is no room for despair in life. Hardship is the seed of salvation, if only you believe. A person who knows that the Creator loves them has nothing to fear.
Anyone who carries faith in their heart, trusting that the Creator is always working for their good, knows that if they have not succeeded in a big way, it is because they were thinking too small. It is not because God punished them.
With the Creator, being meets being. We have said this many times: there is nothing outside you.
King David says, “The Lord is your shade at your right hand.” A shadow mirrors every move you make. If you believe, if you truly desire something, and if you radiate success, faith and determination, what encouragement will you receive from your teacher? What encouragement will you receive from the Creator?
The same.
Exactly. But what happens when life hits you?
And what a hit. A total crash. Let us be honest: we are living through that reality now. It is tearing us apart. You can cry and complain, but how will that help?
It will not help me at all. As I have said before, if tears could bring salvation, we would sit and cry 24/7. Still, I do make room for my sadness sometimes. Sadness is real. You cannot let everything pass you by without expressing it, or you grow a monster inside that will strike you later.
That is true, but it is not the whole point.
Listen closely. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov teaches a concept found in the Zohar: ratzo vashov, “running and returning.” “Running” is when everything is going your way. Things work, there are no missiles and life moves easily. “Returning” is when you take a blow, fall and move backward.
The message is not to stop because of a blow or disappointment. You may crash, but Rebbe Nachman says, “The descent is for the sake of the ascent.” You may reach very low places. Remember that the Creator is there, and remember that He is preparing you for a tremendous ascent.
If you make it through the descent and understand that the Creator is strengthening you for your own good and preparing you to reach a better place, you will see the hardship differently. Anyone living through darkness and trials should know that the Creator is with them, even through suffering, painful separations and losses.
The only thing that will save you is faith.
If you do not believe in God’s salvation, you will not have salvation. This is not punishment. It is being meeting being. If you do not believe in the Creator’s power, you will not receive the Creator’s power. It depends on you.
Think of a story we have told many times. The children of Israel leave Egypt and reach the Red Sea, but the sea does not open. What happens then? Moses cries out to God: “What is happening? Save us!”
Why does God tell him, “Speak to the children of Israel, that they go forward”? Moses is begging God to open the sea, and God tells him to speak to the people and have them move forward.
The Zohar says that at that moment, none of the children of Israel believed in God’s power. Not one of them held the subconscious belief that the sea could open.
What is God really saying to Moses, and to all of us? It depends on you. The more fully you believe in My greatness, the more fully I will reveal Myself to you. Do not wait for the miracle and then believe. Believe, and then it will come.
Use your prayers. Prayer gives force to what you ask for. A Jew’s greatest power lies in their mouth, in the words they speak. And the higher your level of faith, the less effort you will be asked to make. The more you believe in something, the fewer actions it requires of you.
We live in the world of action, so understand that action will still be required.
There are great tzaddikim, righteous people, in this country who devote tremendous resources to charity and kindness. They may need 300,000 to 400,000 shekels each week to provide meals, nursing care and support for all the people who depend on them.
You can see a rabbi’s spiritual level by how much action he still needs to take. A Kabbalist at a very high level may not even need to ask people for donations. Another rabbi may also be righteous and good, but still have room to grow and need to ask for donations despite his faith.
Draw a graph. On one axis, write “faith,” with knowing at the very top. On the other, write “effort,” and put “actions” in parentheses. Remember: the higher your level of faith, the fewer actions you will be asked to take.
I had another thought that encouraged me. Why are all these situations being sent to us? Why are we going through this as a people and a country? Every time, the Creator gives me another flash of insight.
I was thinking about oxytocin, the love hormone. Shared struggle is one of the things that releases it.
Isn’t that striking? When people, whether a couple or a family, go through a tragedy together, they become more united and connected. You can see it in societies and communities too.
It made me think that we experience disasters and wars so that this hormone will be released, connecting us in love and moving us to support one another. It also reminds us, beautiful souls, that we are not stuck.
We are not stuck.
When you feel stuck, it is a sign that you have stopped growing. That is all. You stopped growing, and the universe is signaling that this is an opportunity.
Exactly. Most people become anxious and sad when they feel stuck, and right now we are experiencing this as a country too. They do not understand that the feeling points to a real, basic need within them that is now waking up.
Most of us tend to blame some outside person or circumstance for keeping us stuck. Some people waste their entire lives believing that someone or something else is holding them back.
Because it is convenient. Blaming yourself is no fun, is it?
True. But here is something practical. Most people will begin to shake that feeling when they have something coming up to plan for: a gathering, a trip, an event or even a task they have wanted to complete. It does not have to be big.
Another way to lift yourself out of that feeling is to learn something new. It does not matter what. Try a new class at the gym or a dance class. As soon as something catches your interest and you begin learning, you feel movement again. Even a small change can strengthen you, boost your motivation and restore your ability to act.
That gives me the perfect opening to mention that two events are taking place at my clinic in July, one on a Wednesday and one on a Friday. We will put all the details below. Join us (in Hebrew).
Anyone who wants to move forward needs to be around people who are moving forward too. Put yourself in that environment and create that reality. Learning something new can move you beyond feeling stuck and help you grow into the person you want to be.
That brings me back to the question I asked at the beginning. In a moment, I will finish and let Taltal say a few things that will probably move us both very deeply.
How would you feel if all your dreams came true? Go there. Picture it. If you are not sure how to answer, listen to this episode again from the beginning. I have been giving you the answer all along.
What an incredible episode. Now, what about you, Taltal?
Well, what can I say? This is the emotional moment. I can already feel the lump in my throat.
We can see it.
Yes. This is my moment to say goodbye. We have done 63 episodes together over a year and a half. That is no small thing.
After this amazing, moving journey, it is time for me to leave and set out on a new path. Do not be alarmed by my tears. They are tears of excitement and joy, not sadness, though of course every ending carries a little sadness.
It is a little sad, but mostly exciting. First, I want to thank our loyal listeners for your support, for listening and for all your encouraging responses along the way. You are unquestionably an integral part of this podcast.
And to you, my dear Gili: thank you for an amazing partnership and the journey we shared, for every moving moment and everything I learned, more than I could ever put into words. Those 63 episodes gave us a year and a half of shared experiences. It is incredible. Thank you for everything.
You have been a true companion on this journey, and I have learned so much from you. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that you are continuing this podcast. I wish you great success. And now I am moving on to a new path.
Before we go any further, let us make this clear for anyone who has listened this far and is still unsure what Tal is saying: Taltal is leaving the show.
The Hebrew-language podcast The Truth Hurts (HaEmet Ko’evet) will continue, but Tal is moving forward to pursue new goals.
And to make more dreams come true.
As we always say here, we have to keep moving. Tal, you absolutely have to keep moving.
I will continue the podcast with all of you. We are not saying goodbye. We will meet here again next week, but in a slightly different format.
Taltal, we want you to know how much we love you and how grateful we are for the wonderful presence you brought to the show, for everything you did to help people move forward and for all the kindness you showed our listeners.
Today, you get to choose the closing song.
I want to close with a song that captures everything I feel and sums up my whole experience here: “Thank U” by Alanis Morissette, which we both love very much.
Totally.
Thank you for everything. I love you so much.
Thank you, Taltal.