Everything changes, and everything ends. That may sound a little dramatic, but it’s true. If we really understand it, we can appreciate what we have now, knowing that this moment won’t last forever.
My vision is simple: when something changes, I can turn it into something better. That’s my responsibility. It means being willing to take risks instead of clinging to what I know. Everything moves and evolves. When I have faith (emunah) that change is always for my good, I won’t be afraid to take those risks.
The Creator wants us to be entrepreneurs! Let go, and understand this: the harder you try to control something, the more out of control you feel.
Tony Robbins says that the number one factor in happiness is process. Process is happiness. When you keep growing and developing, you feel more alive. When you feel alive, you have more to give. And if you give more, you are God.
Giving is the secret of life. So what is your calling?
Finding your calling
The episode asks a direct question: “What is your calling?” The answer may be closer and simpler than you think:
- Find your immediate mission: Look around and ask who needs you most. Begin with the people closest to you, then gradually widen the circle. Your mission is to help the people the Creator has brought into your life.
- Learn to live with faith: Faith means understanding that everything that happens is for the good. Rebbe Nachman says that trials are a gift to those who go through them, and that if you pass a trial, a miracle will happen.
- Choose joy: Choosing to live with joy and a good mood, regardless of what is happening around you, is a powerful decision that leads to a full, well-lived life. Your mood matters more than anything else, so protect it in every situation. This doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain.
- Change your state: Your body, focus and language all affect how you feel. Walking or dancing can shift your mood; asking positive questions and using positive language can shift your emotions.
- Raise your standards: Stop compromising on what matters. Change begins when what you want becomes something you must have.
- Learn to ask: Know what you want, ask for it and ask better questions. A question begins a mental and emotional process of receiving and change.
- Use guided imagery: Spend five minutes each day imagining an improved version of your life. Picture yourself at your best, and use that vision to move more quickly toward your goals.
The episode ends with a five-minute guided-imagery practice. Along the way, Gili and Tal answer listeners’ questions and explore how positive thoughts, physical action and inner work can help us return to joy, even in times of hardship and pressure.
Transcript
The Truth Hurts, Episode 59: What Is Your Calling?
Opening: “Good morning, Gili.”
Tal: Good morning, Gili. How are you?
Gili: Good morning, Tal. How are things?
Tal: Good, good.
Gili: I’m doing very well. It’s been one of those weeks. We’ve been talking about this period for a while. Doesn’t it make you want to throw up by now?
Looking inward to find your mission
Everything had been building up. I went quiet for a few days because I realized that I needed to protect my body, soul, spirit and heart. I stepped away from everything that was happening and closed myself off for a while so I could look inward.
We often ask ourselves, “How do I know what my mission in life is?” We all want the answer, don’t we? What is my mission? What is my calling? What am I supposed to be doing here, right now?
I think the answer is much simpler than we imagine. Look around you. Who needs you most? That is your mission right now. Once you’ve helped there and repaired what you can, widen the circle. Who needs you next? If you have the energy, look farther: Who needs you in your neighborhood, your city or your country?
Helping the people around you
When someone needs you, you’ll know what to do. Don’t invent a mission, or even a job. Ask who the Creator has brought into your life for you to help. There is no mystery in it. People say, “I want to help. I want to contribute and be there for others, but what if I haven’t figured out how?” My answer is: What about the person you most want to help? Don’t they matter?
The same idea applies to your work. You don’t go to work to earn money; you go there to meet people you wouldn’t otherwise meet. How can you help them? What can you teach them? How can you encourage them or make their lives easier? Everyone in your life is there for a reason; nothing happens by chance. If you help those people and do something for them, you won’t even be working in the ordinary sense. You’ll be there simply to help them.
A story about a man in the hospital
There is a story about a man who was admitted to the hospital. He called his rabbi to ask for a blessing or a kind word. After the man explained his condition and asked for help, the rabbi told him, “Stop listening to the doctors. You aren’t there for yourself. Look around and ask who needs you. Don’t ask the doctor what’s wrong with you; tell the doctor what’s wrong with him. You’re there to give, not to take. You’ll be able to leave the hospital quickly and improve your condition, because you aren’t really sick.”
Why giving matters
The Creator doesn’t truly want anyone to be sick, but He put you there so that you would meet certain people and help them. That’s the point. We need to understand that whatever we give will come back to us. Give something beautiful to the people whose lives touch yours. Make your life about giving. Giving is the secret of life. Begin with a small circle, feel what it means to give, and then keep widening that circle.
I have three children, and they are my “why.” I also have dozens of clients, and they are like my children too. Every morning, I wake up and ask myself whether I am worthy. We all need to find our why. It may be the person we love, our children or our neighbors. Wanting something isn’t enough. You need to understand why you want it, why you get up in the morning and what that desire means.
Meaning and faith
If there is no meaning in what you want, you can chase it and even get it, but it still won’t have any value. We all want to feel blessed in life. The key to feeling blessed is learning to live with faith. What is faith? It means understanding that everything that happens is for the good.
Rebbe Nachman says that trials are a gift to those who go through them. In Hebrew, the word for a trial, nisayon, is connected to nes, a miracle. If you pass the trial, a miracle will happen. A trial is a test: pass the test, and you reach the miracle. Our trials are constant and unending. The only thing that can truly sustain us is learning faith.
Choosing joy
You can also understand this in less religious terms. The most important decision you can make is to choose a good mood and joy, no matter what is happening. That choice is worth more than being a billionaire. If you want to live fully and live well, it is the most powerful decision you can make.
That doesn’t mean you won’t experience pain. It means remembering that your state of mind is your most important asset. Protecting it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and the people around you. You will still have low moments, but this understanding can help you move through them more quickly.
That was my experience with COVID. Fairly early on, I understood that it was a gift and, ultimately, that it had happened so I could make information accessible and help other people.
The more you practice seeing everything as for the good, the more natural it becomes. Think of a baby who is crying and screaming one moment and smiling the next. Babies move through their emotions quickly, and we are supposed to do that too. If something sad happens, cry for an hour, a day or two days. You’re hurting; you’re sad. That’s all right. But keep moving, and remember that your state of mind is your most valuable asset. We create what we focus on.
Focus, change and energy
Where focus goes, energy flows. Most people focus on what they have to do instead of what they can do. A leader sees things as they are and can also see a better version of them. Once you have a vision, you act on it.
Everything changes, and everything ends. That sounds heavy, but it’s true. Nothing stands still; everything moves and passes. My vision is that every ending becomes something better. If it’s changing, it’s improving.
When I take risks and understand that nothing stands still or stays stuck, I can fully appreciate everything I have. That understanding also lets me think like an entrepreneur and move without fear, because I believe that even when things change, they always change for the good.
Taking risks with faith
When you cling to something and hold it by force, you may think you are in control, but you are actually losing control. We need to let go and understand that everything moves and develops. If I have faith that it is always for the good, I won’t be afraid to take risks.
Tony Robbins says that the number one factor in wealth is process. When you keep growing and developing, you feel alive. When you feel alive, you have more to give. And when you have something to give, you understand the secret of life.
Raising your standards
What sets people apart is their standards. Whatever you’re willing to tolerate will remain in your life. As long as you tolerate it, it continues. But when you reach the point where you say, “I won’t accept this anymore,” something changes.
The only thing that will change your life is raising your standards. We all have things we want, but we don’t get what we merely want. We get what we decide we must have. The compromises we make with ourselves and others continue for as long as we are willing to live with them.
Deciding to change
Your life will change the moment you decide that something can no longer continue. We all have things we’re willing to tolerate. If you want to raise your standards, stop compromising. The moment change becomes a must, you will have a breakthrough in your life.
Learning to ask
The way to get what you want is simply to ask. There is an art to asking good questions, and it matters. The moment you ask a question, you set a mental and emotional process of receiving in motion. Failure usually begins when we don’t ask.
Changing your state of mind
Your state of mind depends on three things: your body, your focus and your language. Your body sends powerful signals, so move it if you want to change your mood. Your focus shapes how you feel, and you can change that focus by asking different questions. The language you use matters too. Words create reality.
Choosing your words
Negative language brings you down; positive language lifts you up. How you speak to yourself and to other people matters. Hold on to your standards, and don’t settle.
Using your imagination
Use your imagination to picture a better version of your life, including what your calling looks like. Spend five minutes a day with that vision. This daily practice will help you reach the most successful version of yourself more quickly. Picture yourself at your best. What does your business look like? How much money is in your bank account? What are your relationships like?
When reality feels overwhelming
Our reality is hard, harder than anything we could have imagined. Sometimes it feels wrong to be joyful when other people are suffering. But faith is the only thing that will keep your head above water: faith that everything is for the good, and that there is a Creator who is good and does good.
Hold the vision
Don’t settle. If your life isn’t right for you, move. Hold the vision of something perfect, good and magnificent, and know that it will come. Practice seeing it for five minutes every day. It will help you make a meaningful change in your life. So what is your calling?