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Loneliness is one of the worst experiences we face as human beings, and it is increasingly common across the Western world. It shows up in many ways: social exclusion, parental alienation, and rising rates of suicide, serious illness, depression, and anxiety. In the simplest terms, what lies at the heart of all of them is a lack of friendship and human connection.
People with close friends are healthier, physically and emotionally, and they live longer. Yes, you read that right. Loneliness is associated with premature death, and research has compared the harm it causes to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
A lack of communication, human touch, and intimacy affects us more than many of us realize. We need to feel seen and loved, and that need plays an enormous role in our emotional and physical health. Our social connections matter more than our genes. Research now shows that the way we live affects our genetics. This isn’t a spiritual theory. It’s biology.
Close friendships also help us handle stress. Loneliness, on the other hand, feeds addiction, whether to drugs or obsessive behavior. Addiction is more widespread than many people realize, partly because of how we live now.
For many of us, most social interaction, and sometimes all of it, happens online. But social media exchanges aren’t enough to keep us emotionally stable. Regular, personal, meaningful contact regulates dopamine production in the brain. Without meaningful relationships, lonely people are left with too little dopamine.
The human brain regards meaningful social interaction as important to survival. When you spend most of your time alone, your subconscious believes you have no safety, resources, or support, and that your survival is at risk.
The way we live today is worlds apart from how human beings were originally meant to live. Modern social structures condition us to isolate ourselves in the name of individualism while also making dopamine addiction easier. This is why loneliness has become an evolutionary phenomenon. We have become a society of people who don’t know how to form meaningful connections with one another, even though connection is what we need most.
Listen in and find out how it’s done.
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