We have a human tendency to make slaves of ourselves.
It isn’t a flattering thought, but there it is.
We are all enslaved to something, and it isn’t necessarily another person. We manage perfectly well on our own, becoming slaves to food or alcohol, to what others think of us, or to a childhood wound we still can’t escape. Each of us has a different master, and if we’re honest, many of us have more than one.
As long as you’re a slave, you aren’t your own master. You don’t rule your appetites, impulses or reactions. You don’t rule your own life. And without that freedom, what chance do you have of feeling real joy?
In Hebrew, the name of the month, Nisan, echoes nitzan, a bud: “The blossoms have appeared in the land.” Nature is flowering and flourishing, and the human soul can do the same. That is the miracle of Nisan, whose name also echoes nisim, miracles.
If you want to break free from fear, anxiety, pressure or worry, this is the time to draw on the spiritual energy of Passover and move from slavery into freedom.
Which brings us to the million-dollar question: how?
About this episode
As Gili and Tal prepare for Passover, they challenge one of the best-known explanations for eating matzah: that the Israelites left Egypt so quickly that their dough had no time to rise. Gili offers a different reading of Exodus 12, arguing that the instructions came well before the Exodus and that the ban on chametz, leavened food, has a spiritual meaning, not merely a practical one.
From there, chametz and matzah become images of inner life. Chametz swells with air, like pride and falsehood; matzah remains plain, like truth and humility. Their conversation turns to the many forms of inner slavery, including cravings, ego and automatic reactions, and to the work of developing our character traits and self-control.
Gili and Tal also explore the spiritual energy of Nisan as a time of blossoming, redemption and miracles. They discuss an upcoming Releasing Guilt, Resentment and Anger workshop on May 8, then close with the story of “A Happy Song,” written to lift the country’s spirits after a deadly attack. For Gili, it is a reminder that even in painful times, we must protect our capacity for joy.
Episode transcript
This episode of The Truth Hurts (HaEmet Ko’evet) is in Hebrew; an English transcript follows.
Episode 53. Good morning, Gili.
Good morning, Tal Tal. How are you?
I’m fine. Getting ready for Passover?
Of course.
It’s almost here, right after the weekend.
Any minute now. Passover will be here before we know it, and may it bring good things. We’ve already talked about cleaning, and we’ll talk about it some more.
I wanted to ask: what can you tell us about Passover that we haven’t heard before?
Let’s begin with one of the biggest lies in history.
All right.
Ask anyone why we eat matzah on Passover. What do you think they’ll say?
That we left Egypt in such a hurry, the dough had no time to rise.
Exactly. But listen carefully: when you read the Torah, that isn’t what it says. It’s the story we were taught in kindergarten and school. It became fixed in our minds, and we don’t even bother to check whether it’s true.
That, by the way, is a good reason to question every “truth” you’re told. Check for yourself, even when everyone says it’s right. At the beginning of Exodus 12, the Creator gives Moses the instructions for leaving Egypt before the plague of the firstborn, more than two weeks before the Exodus.
So they had time to prepare?
Plenty of time.
There you have it.
The issue wasn’t that they ran out of time. They had been told in advance not to let the dough rise.
So what does it mean?
The relationship between chametz and matzah is fascinating. Think of the magnitude of the task: you have to lead an entire people, shaped by generations of slavery and a slave mentality, into the open, where they must contend with nature, fate, the stars and the constellations.
Whatever the challenge, the purpose of Passover is to bring us from slavery into freedom. You know that part well.
I do. But when it comes to chametz, matzah and all the customs, I know less.
Then let’s sort it out. This is where it gets interesting.
Slavery has many faces. Being a slave doesn’t necessarily mean that another person is forcing you to act. It is largely a question of what you obey. I can be enslaved to myself, to desire or to what I call “my nature.” No one has to stand over us. We do an excellent job of enslaving ourselves.
Every one of us has a light side and a dark side. We won’t explore it fully now, but one part is known as the sitra achra, a person’s “other side.” It is the dark, false side: the part that takes offense, reacts, becomes agitated and listens to the voice saying, “Someone just spoke badly about me.”
The ego?
It’s more complex than the ego, though we’ll use the ego to bring the idea into focus.
Suppose someone approaches you rudely or speaks harshly to you. You become enslaved to that encounter only when you react, when you obey those voices. The soul’s true desire says, “Why should I become angry? Why should I put myself through hell?”
Exactly.
There are many shades to this, but the heart of Passover is the power to attain real freedom. Matzah is one way of reaching it.
Let’s talk about that.
Bread symbolizes the selfish will. The more you feed it, the more it grows. Add water to flour, and the dough swells and rises, just like a person’s ego and selfishness. However much we have, we want more. We keep puffing ourselves up.
As long as we’re racing after material things, we won’t be satisfied. As long as we’re chasing pride and the clichés of the society around us, especially today, we won’t feel fulfilled. What do you have? What do you have more of? How much more have you achieved? That is what seems to matter.
Real fulfillment comes when a person connects with the soul and the light of Creation. That is the difference between slavery and freedom. Once even a little of that light reaches you, you begin to understand true freedom. It doesn’t depend on anyone else. It depends on me.
That’s the freedom we’re talking about.
This is why we need to understand what Passover means, why we hold a Seder and which forces awaken on that night each year. The same force that brought us out of Egypt is at work now.
And here’s the thing: we didn’t want to leave Egypt, either.
We have a human tendency to become enslaved to food, drugs, what people say about us, or emotions first stirred in childhood that we still cannot escape.
Because staying there feels more comfortable.
Yes. Each of us is enslaved to something different, and many of us to several things. As long as you’re a slave, you aren’t a king. If you aren’t a king, you aren’t in control. When I don’t control my urges, my needs or my reactions, there can be no real happiness, fulfillment or simple joy that comes from the heart and needs no outside justification.
The Arizal, Rabbi Isaac Luria, whom we both love, connects Pesach with peh sach, “a mouth that speaks.” The aim is to reach a place where I can face reality, even when I dislike it, without becoming agitated or lashing out. The moment I stop reacting, I am no longer a slave. I’ve already taken a step forward.
With practice, this begins to show in my behavior. I react less to what happens outside me, so I give it less power and become less enslaved to it. Passover offers us a taste of that. It gives us the opportunity to experience genuine freedom. That is the great miracle of Passover.
Freedom.
Quite a miracle, isn’t it?
An amazing miracle.
We’ve often said that every appointed time, every season, has its own energy. This is one of the great principles in the wisdom of Kabbalah: understand the energy of the holiday and move with it.
What do the Kabbalists say about Passover?
The Hebrew Bible tells of countless miracles that happened for the people of Israel, yet not every miracle has its own holiday. People even ask what was so exceptional about the splitting of the Red Sea that it became a holiday. Let me explain.
There are two kinds of miracles the Creator performs in Creation. One is a miracle that happens only once. Here’s a striking example: “Sun, stand still upon Gibeon, and you, moon, in the valley of Ajalon.” What a line.
Those are the words of Joshua son of Nun. According to the text, Joshua turns to God in the middle of a battle and commands the sun and moon to stop moving, and they do. According to the Sages and most commentators, the verse means exactly what it says: he stopped the entire heavenly system. He ordered the earth to stop moving.
An enormous miracle, yes, but a one-time event. We don’t celebrate it. It happened, and it was over.
Another kind of miracle is embedded by the Creator in the calendar, in an appointed time when spiritual abundance descends into the world.
Like a holiday.
It carries a particular energy that helps things happen beyond nature. That is the kind of miracle we celebrate, because this moment is unlike the rest of the year. If you know how to move with that energy, you can use the time to your advantage.
Why?
Because it has the power to change nature. Nisan holds the potential for redemption. Each holiday brings its own potential, and Nisan brings redemption.
Let’s talk about Nisan for a moment, because people hear this idea without always understanding it. Nisan is linked to nitzan, a bud, and nitzanim, buds: “The blossoms have appeared in the land.” Everything is blooming now.
Why do we say Nisan rather than nitzan? The explanation is that in Eastern lands, people pronounced the Hebrew letter tzadi as a samekh. According to this explanation, nitzan became Nisan. The essence of the month is blossoming and flourishing. What you see happening in nature also happens in the human soul.
If you want to blossom, leave behind fear, anxiety, pressure and worry, and find joy in life, the spiritual potential of these days can make change possible and even easier. But what does it depend on?
On a conscious decision. You decide that you want to blossom and flourish, and you support that decision by working on your character. A flower blooming outside doesn’t automatically mean that I will bloom. My growth depends on my inner traits.
What are character traits, or middot? Put simply, they are patterns of reaction. Each reaction reflects a trait, and repeated reactions become part of your character. If I respond to everything with anger…
…I become an angry, irritable person.
Exactly. So how does a person become whole, Tal Tal? Why are some people so well loved that everyone wants to be around them, while others are less loved and less sought after?
You could say it’s a matter of focus. We’ve discussed this in previous episodes. The moment you decide to change your focus, you change your point of view.
And what you focus on shapes the energy you project. The way others respond to you depends on your energy, your speech and your behavior.
Your mindset.
Exactly. King Solomon, the wisest of men, said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Through speech, a person can bring life to the people around them, or they can kill something in them.
I think we’ve all known at least one person who destroys relationships and poisons the atmosphere with words: dramatic fights with a partner, jabs at friends, conflicts at work.
I can say it about myself, too. Let’s be honest. We all contain a little of everything.
Right. If my words tear people down, judge them and criticize them, people won’t want to be near me. It isn’t pleasant. And in that state of mind, I will also attract the same kind of energy.
Exactly.
By contrast, look at someone who works on themselves and develops self-control. That work not only repairs their soul on a spiritual level; it also improves their life here and now. People are drawn to them. Anyone can do this at any time by making an effort to change their reactions, speech and thoughts. But Nisan multiplies that effort through its power of blossoming. It helps a person turn aspirations into reality and find greater joy in life.
We are in Nisan, the month of miracles. Think about this, Tal Tal: what’s the difference between a hot-tempered person and a person who is angry?
One is angry at this moment. The other is angry by habit.
Exactly. A worrier worries all the time; someone who is worried feels it right now. So what’s the difference between a nes, a miracle, and Nisan? A miracle happens once.
And Nisan lasts the whole month.
All month long, Nisan brings us into a higher reality. It is filled with miracles. And let’s be honest: you don’t need a doctorate to know what needs repairing. One woman knows that she gossips. One man knows that he loses his temper and explodes. Everyone has their own issues, and this is the time to work on them.
Because this month gives us a chance to change the story, a chance for miracles.
Even now, there are visible miracles. I checked: 331 missiles. Can you believe it? 331. Do you know what 331 spells? Read the Hebrew letters. Beyond that, 331 missiles were fired from Iran at Israel, and what happened? Nothing.
Look at the war in Gaza. Nothing like it has happened before: a war fought with an entire underground city. Armies around the world are already studying it. The American military has studied it and reportedly estimated that a war like this would kill 2,000 people every day.
God forbid. Blessed be His name.
Yet in our war, which has already continued for months…
More than a year, with 600 killed.
Fewer than 600. We haven’t reached that number, and may we never reach it. I don’t even want to give an exact figure, so that we don’t count it. Of course, every person is an entire world. Each one is missed, and our hearts ache.
Still, think about the numbers. Militaries around the world will study this war because there are visible miracles here every day. We are living through horror, that is true. Yet miracles are also unfolding on many levels, in the many stories we hear now and the many books still to be written about them.
Let’s return to Nisan, with its capacity for miracles. This is a time when a person can emerge from trouble, when all of us can emerge from our troubles.
So what is the message? What do chametz and matzah have to do with it?
First, look at the Hebrew words. Chametz and matzah are very similar. Both contain the letters mem and tzadi; the difference is between heh and chet. Both foods are made from flour and water.
Right, flour and water.
From the moment flour touches water, there are 18 minutes before it begins to rise, even without yeast. When chametz leavens, it swells. It represents falsehood: it looks full and impressive, but touch it and you discover that it is filled with…
Air.
Exactly. Matzah, by contrast, represents truth. In short, we’re talking about pride.
There it is: The Truth Hurts.
Exactly. Think of the dough as it rises. Pride is like that. Humility, by contrast, is the foundation of every good character trait. I would put it this way: pride is the foundation of every bad trait; humility is the foundation of every good one.
A proud person is like a swelling tide. They feel that they stand above everyone else. They are also quick to anger because their pride is wounded by the image they have of themselves. Their imagination tells them that they are important and superior, but reality doesn’t match that image, so they become angry.
A humble person is less easily shaken. They aren’t offended by anything and don’t think the world owes them anything. They aren’t jealous in the way a proud person is. The proud person cannot bear to see someone above them. The humble person can say, “Fine, someone is above me. What does that take away from me? Let them be.”
Pride grows from falsehood; humility grows from truth.
Now for a reality check: this isn’t a call to erase yourself.
It’s important to know that you matter and to have self-worth.
Self-erasure means feeling terrible about yourself.
Yes, and that too is a form of pride. To people who are hard on themselves, we say, “Love yourselves.” You need to know your own worth and importance. It is possible to do that without being ruled by pride.
I can have the drive of a lioness without acting superior to anyone. That becomes possible when we understand that each person’s gift is their own and isn’t in competition with anyone else’s.
Imagine streams of different-colored light descending from above. You are standing in the pink light.
The pink energy?
There’s no competition. I can’t step into your pink light and pull it away from you. I can’t use yours, and you can’t use mine. Everyone has a role in Creation. We have no reason to feel superior to one another. Each of us can be grateful for what we have and keep moving forward.
If you’re the strongest, know that you’re the strongest. If you’re the richest, know that you’re the richest. If you have the most beautiful wife in town, know that you do. But don’t become full of yourself. Say thank you a million times, then act with modesty and humility. Understand that everything comes from the Creator, and that you deserve what He gave you; it was precisely meant for you. The same is true for another person. There is no place for pride.
So let’s return to chametz. It represents falsehood and pride. It puffs up, making a show of growing larger. Matzah makes no show of itself. It represents truth and humility. What you put in the bowl is what you get: flour and water. It doesn’t swell.
That is the spiritual work: to cleanse ourselves of falsehood and pride. The Kabbalists say that when we remove the chametz from our homes, we should also remove the chametz in our hearts. Right now, we have a particular capacity to do that.
A person can leave Egypt, Mitzrayim, and emerge from their own narrow straits, metzarim, right now. Everyone has something to work on. If the work is easier at this time, why not use the momentum?
Of course. It doesn’t even cost anything.
So we’re back to the million-dollar question: how do we do it?
What do you do with dough that has risen? You knead it with your hands until all the air comes out.
The same is true of people. Do you want to move beyond falsehood and ego?
Work on myself? I thought I wasn’t supposed to dwell on myself…
Actually, you do need to work on yourself.
But isn’t that like picking at a wound?
No, I mean the opposite kind of work. A person who wants to live truthfully and avoid falsehood and pride must keep doing inner work. Learn. Grow wiser. Develop. Examine your reactions closely.
Pay attention to your conversations, the people around you, the company you keep and the way you spend your free time. What are you doing? If you don’t consciously choose something that moves you forward and brings you closer to inner peace, your mind will return to its familiar habits in a second and a half. It will run on autopilot, following the patterns you are used to calling “me.” From there, it is easy to slide back into falsehood and pride.
We were slaves. Haven’t we had enough?
It’s time.
It is. I love the image of matzah and chametz because it helps us understand the inner meaning of Passover. Cleaning the house and removing the chametz are important, but we also want to understand the deeper spiritual meaning.
Right. What inner action do I need to take? Honestly, it could sound as if I don’t need to remove the chametz from my house, only from my soul.
Let’s be precise: it isn’t either-or. The outward practice has meaning. We live in the world of action, and those actions are very important.
It is said that for someone who keeps kosher, removing chametz isn’t limited to what is physically in the house. If you own shares abroad, they count as chametz and must be sold. The moment you buy a share, you are an owner. If you own something that isn’t kosher for Passover, then you own chametz.
We won’t go into all those corners.
My point is that we haven’t discussed the details of the outward practices. This is a podcast about healing the soul, so we’re using this appointed time for that inner work.
One more thing: on May 8, we’re holding the Releasing Guilt, Resentment and Anger workshop (in Hebrew). Guilt, resentment and anger can all be bound up with pride. This will be the third time we’re holding the workshop. Anyone who wants to register can find the details here.
To close, I brought a wonderful and surprising song.
What’s it called?
“A Happy Song.” That’s its name. But I want to tell its story because it is so moving, so true and so closely connected to what we’ve been discussing.
The story comes from 1954. Moshe Sharett was the prime minister who succeeded Ben-Gurion. Four days before Purim, terrorists attacked a bus returning from a celebration. 11 passengers were murdered. The country was in shock, and everyone was downcast.
Sharett said, “Wait. This isn’t right. We’re in the middle of a holiday. We need to celebrate.” Two well-known and beloved songwriters were there. He brought them into a room and told them, “I need a happy song, something to lift people’s spirits.”
The story goes that he sat them down with a bottle of brandy. Some say he even locked the door behind him and told them, “You’re not coming out until you have a happy song.”
And this is that song. Go listen. Its words are sad, but ultimately, its purpose is to help us hold on to our joy. Happy Passover. May we sing through the holiday.
Happy Passover, and may we leave the past behind us. Amen.